If you want to have friends, don’t piss people off. Write that down. This general rule remains valid under most circumstances; especially in fitness centers.
Next time you go to the gym, follow these unwritten rules to avoid pissing people off:
Keep it clean. If you get off a machine, and then look at it, and see the sparkling proof of your hard work all over it, then you must clean it. Nobody wants to mix their swass with your swass (swass is ass sweat for those who don’t know). *cringes*
Do not sit on a machine that you’re not using. If you do this, there’s probably a person who has been peering over at you every minute for the past 10 minutes to check and see if you’re done using that machine yet, because they want to use it next. If you’re too busy commenting on Sara’s baby pictures from 1994 on Facebook to realize that, then you could be pissing that person off.
By doing this, you are also cheating your workout. On average, a person in weight training should only spend 30 seconds to 1 minute between sets. That might be enough time to change the song that’s playing on Spotify, but not enough time to reply to 5 texts.
*Putting your phone on “Do Not Disturb” will terminate the temptation to touch it.*
Do not stand directly in front of another person looking in the mirror. People who are lifting like to watch themselves in the mirror, not because they love the way they look and are obsessed with themselves (well maybe some), but because it’s important that they lift with correct form in order to avoid injuries. You make a better wall than window.
Put your weights back. We get it, you can squat, like, a million pounds. I am unfathomably happy for you. But when you’re done and little ole me wants to take a turn on the hack squat machine and you left all 10 of your 45 lb plates on it, I’m NOT happy! No matter what, if you’re lifting weights, put them back where you got them or in the proper place when you’re finished.
Don’t be a bother. The gym is a social place, I get that. I know that going to the gym is the highlight of the day for some people and this is where they get most of their social interactions. BUT, if a person has headphones on, it’s highly likely that they are more focused on their workout than interested in conversing with you about the weather. So, just leave them alone.
Take care of your hygiene. Nobody wants to smell your swass either. Wear deodorant. Wash your clothes. Use the showers in the locker room if you need to. You will never accomplish gym friends if you reek.
There’s also a substantially low chance that that girl wants you to interrupt her workout to ask for her phone number, I’m just saying.
At the end of the day, you probably won’t be shot for not abiding by these rules, but you still could be so it’s really important that you follow them closely.
~haha I’m joking~
But really, most people who exercise regularly in public fitness centers share at least one common goal: to be healthy. Correspondingly, they’re likely to seek positivity, well-being, and good vibes. IN OTHER WORDS, we are good people. We will not throw dumbbells at you for sitting on a machine for too long… well, at least I won’t.
These were unwritten rules…but I just wrote them. So now they’re mine. And you should follow them like they’re laws. Emmy’s gym laws.
*repeatedly shoots you finger guns and slowly walks to the nearest exit backwards*